Punjabi English

A for Adjust.

Punjabis will always ask you to adjust whenever they want to push you around.

B for Backside.
It has nothing to do with your bum, it is an instruction to go to the rear of a building, or block, or shop or whatever.

C for Cloney.
It’s not a process for replicating sheep, nor is its first name George. It is merely an area where people live e.g. … Dfence Cloney.

D for Daru-sharu.
The most popular health & energy drink. It is believed that there must have been some error in the scientific conclusion that life began with water.

E for Expanditure.
Punjabis are never shy of spending money – the latest cars, gadgets, marble floors: their ambitions are always expanding.

F for Fackade.
Even though it sounds like a bad word it is actually just the front of a building (with backside being the back, of course).

G for Gaddi.
The way a Punjabi can pilot his gaddi puts any F1 driver to shame.
(If the Grand Prix does come to Delhi there’s no way a Schumaker, Hamilton, Alonso or Kimi can overtake our Balvinder,
Jasvinder, Sukhvinder or Harvinder.)

H for Ho Jayega Ji.
The moment you hear that you have to be careful because you can be reasonably sure it’s not going to happen.

I for Intezaar.
To know more about it see P.

J for Jindagi.
If there’s one person who knows how to live life to the fullest it’s a Punjabi.

K for Khanna, Khurana, Khosla etc.
The Punjabi equivalent of the Joneses ( e.g. keeping up with the Khoslas’)

L for Lovely.
Unfortunately she almost never is.

M for Mrooti.
The car that an entire generation of Punjabis were in love with.

N for No Problem Ji.
To find out how that works see H.

O for Oye.
This can be a surprise (Oyye!), a greeting (Oyy!), anger (OYY!) or pain (Oy oy oy…).

P for Panj Mint.
No matter how near (1 km) or far (100 km) a Punjabi is from you he always says he’ll reach you in panj mint.

Q for Queue.
A word completely untranslatable into Punjabi.

R for Riks.
Punjabi is always prepared to take one, even if the odds are against him.

S for Sweetie or even Sukhjinder.
Bunty, Pappu and Sonu, who seem to own half the cars in Delhi or perhaps a telephone booth in Patiala

T for official bird of Punjab.
Tandoori chicken.

U for uncle ji.
When you lose your sex appeal and become ‘Uncle-ji’

V for VIP.
Phone numbers @ Rs 15 lakh and counting.

W for Whan,
As in ‘Whan are you coming, ji?’

X for the many X-rated.
Words that flow freely in all Punjabi conversations.

Y for ‘You Nonsense’.
When anger replaces vocabulary in a shouting match.

Z for Zigzag.
Please refer to G, M and P.

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