Archive for May, 2008

Mini Planets Illusion

May 31, 2008
These photos are taken with a special kind of camera which captures an entire 360 degree view of its surroundings. The result is what looks like a “mini planet”…. “



























Advertisements

Spinning Sihouette Optical Illusion

May 31, 2008

At first glance, the silhouette is spinning clockwise. but according to the source website, and the small sample test group I showed it to; you can reverse the spinning.

Here are some hints from the test group.

  • You have to look down at the shadow, keep your eyes there for some seconds and then slowly move your eyes upward.
    Sometimes my brain even changes the direction when I look at different parts of the figure. Dont stare at her, keep your eyes moving up and down.
  • when she turns clockwise she has the right foot up.. when counter-clockwise its the left foot.. just tell yourself which foot is up and she will turn in that direction…

The top 10 sex mistakes men make in bed!

May 30, 2008

There just isn’t any other way to say it- a sex slip-up just isn’t sexy, and to save all men from bedroom ‘disasters’, a leading sexologist has come to the rescue.

Dr. Yvonne K Fulbright, a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc, has come up with the top ten mistakes men make in bed, reports Perth Now.

The biggest mistakes men are as follows:

1. Foreplay doesn’t start in the sack.

The timer for enticing does not start once you hit the sheets. Your pre-game show is best approached as an all-day affair.

Women love to be wooed. Sex is a head game– in more ways than one– and women want to know you can’t get them out of your mind. We love knowing that we are desired.

2. Don’t head south straight away.

Diving in for the genitals too soon usually isn’t the best idea. A woman needs to be properly aroused before any below-the-belt action feels good.

Be sure to focus on her entire body– head to toe– before going for the gold.

3. Remember the clitoris.

Many men think a woman’s orgasm results from penetration.

More than 70 per cent of women experience clitoral orgasm when it comes to maximum reaction, so men need to make sure they are not ignoring the clitoris.

It also helps if you actually know where the clitoris is– some men have been known to rub the urethral opening, which can be a big no-no for some ladies.

4. Get to that G spot.

In digging for buried treasure, many guys don’t know that ‘X’ doesn’t always mark the spot. Found on the front wall of the vagina, a woman’s G spot may be a little higher or lower, or more to one side than the other, than often depicted.

5. Don’t be too goal-oriented.

There is nothing more endearing than a man who wants to play. Just don’t get caught up in yourself. Your sexual exploration should be playtime for two.

Stay ‘present’ in the moment– connecting with your partner will bring the ultimate climax for both of you.

6. Thinking you’re still hot after gaining weight.

‘For better or worse’ should include weight fluctuations, but don’t let yourself go completely.

7. Let her be naughty.

Sometimes she needs to get in touch with her adulterated side. In fact, research has found that women are more aroused by explicit fantasies than romantic ones. It’s not always about the prince on a white horse or canoodling on the beach.

8. She’s not a porn star.

As seen in porn films, many men expect their lovers to fulfill their every fantasy. Remember that porn is fantasy, not reality. Expecting her to act like a porn star is simply not fair.

9. And men aren’t supposed to look like porn stars.

Despite what XXX-rated films indicate, most women are not lusting after a three-legged man. Maybe some women are up for the challenge, but many are fine with the guy who fits within the norm. Don’t be too hard on yourself for being just that.

10. One orgasm is not always enough.

Women are not as quick to come down from their aroused state as men are post-sex. Many can be launched right back to bliss, and many women do crave more action and orgasms, even if they were perfectly satisfied the first time round.

Source: http://www.rediff.com/getahead/2008/may/21sex.htm

Simple Mantras to Secure Financial Freedom

May 30, 2008

“A successful investor is not one who never loses, but who stays invested in the market.”

Contrary to popular belief, one does not have to earn a lot of money to become wealthy. Here are some simple Mantras to secure your financial freedom!

Dont procrastinate on wealth creation – Many people procratinate on saving money. They always wait for the next year, next increment, next bonus to start savings and then the cycle repeats again. You do not need to start investing large amounts, start small. Even a years delay makes a huge difference as wealth compounds with time.

Prepone Investments, Postpone expenses – Set targets on how much you want to invest and invest it as soon as you get the money. Do not spend first and save (whatever is left) later.

You do not need crores – It’s a myth that you need lots of money to start investing. Even small amounts over time become large due to the magic of compounding.

Go for the long term – Especially in Equity it is important to invest for the long term. They give the best returns in the long term. For short term look at debt.

Invest Regularly – This is very important. You can invest in SIP’s which average out your risk. For eg. investing 10,000 rupees a month would yield 1 crore in 15 years at a annual rate of 20%.

Don’t link your lifestyle to stock market – When the stock market is rising, our notional wealth increases. Soon we start believing that growth of our wealth is real and long term. This false state of suddenly feeling wealthy leads to change in lifestyle. One of the perils of increasing expenses on your lifestyle during stock market boom is that we get used to comforts and luxuries in life. When economic situation turns bad we will then struggle to curtail our expenses. In fact in reality while markets are rising, we should control our expenses and let our wealth grow. On the other hand when equity markets are down, our wealth is not growing in real terms. Things are also cheaper generally during such periods.

Ignore Rumours – If you are confident about the company you have invested in, leave it. Ignore rumours.

Research & Learn – Learn about budgeting, credit, and debt. Learn how credit cards work! If you get into debt early it can sabotage your progress. Whenever you buy a stock or fund, don’t do it on a tip or whim, but do solid research to back up your buy. Investing can be very interesting and rewarding!

Craigslist – free classifieds – Now in India

May 28, 2008

Global URL: http://www.craigslist.org/

India URL: http://geo.craigslist.org/iso/in

Craigslist is a centralized network of online communities, featuring free classified advertisements (with jobs, internships, housing, personals, erotic services, for sale/barter/wanted, services, community, gigs, resume, and pets categories) and forums on various topics.

Description

The service was founded in 1995 by Craig Newmark for the San Francisco Bay Area. After incorporation as a private for-profit company in 1999, Craigslist expanded into nine more U.S. cities in 2000, four each in 2001 and 2002, and 14 in 2003. As of September 2007, Craigslist had established itself in approximately 450 cities in 50 countries.

As of 2007, Craigslist operates with a staff of 24 people.[2] Its sole source of revenue is paid job ads in select cities ($75 per ad for the San Francisco Bay Area; $25 per ad for New York, Los Angeles, San Diego, Boston, Seattle, Washington D.C., Chicago and recently Portland, Oregon) and paid broker apartment listings in New York City ($10 per ad).

The site serves over nine billion page views per month, putting it in 56th place overall among web sites world wide, ninth place overall among web sites in the United States (per Alexa.com on January 10, 2008), to over thirty million unique visitors. With over thirty million new classified advertisements each month, Craigslist is the leading classifieds service in any medium. The site receives over two million new job listings each month, making it one of the top job boards in the world.[3] The classified advertisements range from traditional buy/sell ads and community announcements, to personal ads and even erotic services.

In December 2006, at the UBS Global Media Conference in New York, Craigslist CEO Jim Buckmaster told Wall Street analysts that Craigslist has little interest in maximizing profit, instead preferring to help users find cars, apartments, jobs, and dates.[4][5]

The company does not formally disclose financial or ownership information. Analysts and commentators have reported varying figures for its annual revenue, ranging from $10 million in 2004, $20 million in 2005, and $25 million in 2006 to possibly $150 million in 2007.[6][7][8] It is believed to be owned principally by Newmark, Buckmaster, and eBay (the three board members). eBay owns approximately 25%, and Newmark is believed to own the largest stake.[9][8][10]

Background

Having observed people helping one another in a friendly, social and trusting community way on the Internet, the WELL, and Usenet, and feeling isolated as a relative newcomer to San Francisco, Craigslist founder Craig Newmark decided to create something similar for local events.[11]

The first postings debuted in early 1995. The initial technology encountered some limits, so by June of 1995 majordomo had been installed and the mailing list “craigslist” resumed operations. Most of the early postings were submitted by Newmark and were notices of social events of interest to software and Internet developers living and working in San Francisco.

Soon, word of mouth led to rapid growth. Both subscribers and the number of postings grew rapidly. There was no moderation, so Newmark was surprised when people started using the mailing list for non-event postings.[citation needed] People trying to fill technical positions found that the list was a good way to reach people with the skills they were looking for. This led to the addition of a category for “jobs”. User demand for more categories caused the list of categories to grow. About this time, community members started asking for a web interface. Newmark enlisted the help of volunteers and contractors to create a website user interface for the different mailing list categories.[citation needed] Needing a domain name for this, Craig registered “craigslist.org” (and later, “craigslist.com”, to prevent the name “craigslist” from being used for other purposes).[citation needed][12] About this time, Newmark realized that the site was growing so fast that he could stop working as a software engineer and work full time running craigslist. By April 2000, there were nine employees working out of Newmark’s apartment on Cole Street in San Francisco.

Newmark says that Craigslist works because it gives people a voice, a sense of community trust and even intimacy. Other factors he cites are consistency of down-to-earth values, customer service and simplicity. After first being approached about running banner ads, Newmark decided to keep Craigslist non-commercial. In 2002, Craigslist staff posted mock-banner ads throughout the site as an April Fools joke.[13]

Significant events for Craigslist

  • In January 2000, current CEO Jim Buckmaster joined the company as lead programmer and CTO. Buckmaster contributed the site’s multi-city architecture, search engine, discussion forums, flagging system, self-posting process, homepage design, personals categories, and best-of-Craigslist feature. He was promoted to CEO in November 2000.[14]
  • In 2002, a disclaimer was put on the “men seeking men”, “casual encounters”, “erotic services”, and “rants and raves” boards to ensure that those who clicked on these sections were over the age of 18. No disclaimer was on the “men seeking women,” “women seeking men” or “women seeking women” boards. Responding to charges of discrimination and negative stereotyping, Buckmaster explained that the company’s policy is a response to user feedback requesting the warning on the more sexually explicit sections, including “men seeking men”.[15] Today, all of the above listed boards (as well as some others) lead to a disclaimer.
  • On August 1, 2004, Craigslist began charging $25 to post job openings on the New York and Los Angeles pages. On the same day, a new section was added called “Gigs”, where low-cost and unpaid jobs and internships can be posted for free.
  • On August 13, 2004, Newmark announced on his blog that auction giant eBay had purchased a 25% stake in the company from a former principal. Some fans of Craigslist have expressed concern that this development will affect the site’s longtime non-commercial nature, but it remains to be seen what ramifications the change will actually have. As of June 2007, there have been no substantive changes to the usefulness or non-advertising nature of the site (still no banner ads, still only charging for a few services to businesses).
  • In July 2005, Craigslist won the right to beam over 2 million classified ads into deep space (one light year away) in the near future after Buckmaster won an eBay auction for broadcasting time from the company Deep Space Communications Network. Newmark said, “We believe there could be an infinite market opportunity” in space.[16]
  • In April 2008, EBay announced it was suing Craigslist to “safeguard its four-year financial investment”. eBay claimed that in January 2008, Craigslist executives took actions that “unfairly diluted eBay’s economic interest by more than 10%”. [17] In response, Craigslist filed a complaint against eBay in May 2008 “to remedy the substantial and ongoing harm to fair competition” that Craigslist claims is constituted by eBay’s actions as Craigslist shareholders. [18]

Related media

  • In November of 2007, Ryan J. Davis directed Jeffrey Self’s solo show ‘My Life On The Craigslist’ at Off-Broadway’s New World Stages.[19] The show focuses on a young gay man’s sexual experiences on Craigslist and was so successful that it returned to New York by popular demand in February of 2008.[20]

Controversies and illegal activities by users

  • On February 3, 2006, Craigslist was sued by the Chicago Lawyers’ Committee for Civil Rights Under Law for allegedly allowing users to post discriminatory housing ads in Chicago that violate the Fair Housing Act.[21] The case was subsequently dismissed because of immunity granted by the Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act.[22]
  • On September 8, 2006, several sites reported that Craigslist’s “Casual Encounters” forums in several cities had been compromised by individuals posting fraudulent ads in order to obtain personal information about people. This information, including email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses, photos, etc. was publicly posted online.[23]
  • On September 12, 2007, a woman pled guilty in federal court to running an underage prostitution ring through Craigslist.[24]
  • On February 8, 2008, a Michigan woman was charged with using classified advertising Web site Craigslist to hire a contract killer to murder a romantic rival.[25][26]
  • In April 2008, a couple were charged with placing an ad on Craigslist inviting the public to take anything from a man’s home in Oregon, leading to the loss of his possessions. The couple had placed this ad to cover up their own burglary of his house[27].
  • May 27, 2008: Vancouver police report that a Vancouver couple attempted to sell their week-old baby on the site.[28]

Criticism

  • In July 2005, the San Francisco Chronicle criticized Craigslist for allowing ads from dog breeders, and thereby allegedly encouraging the over breeding and irresponsible selling of pit bulls in the Bay Area.[29]
  • In January 2006, the San Francisco Bay Guardian published an editorial criticizing Craigslist for moving into local communities and “threatening to eviscerate” local alternative newspapers. Craigslist has been compared to Wal-Mart, a multinational corporation that some feel crushes small local businesses when they move into towns and offer a huge assortment of goods at cheaper prices.[30]
  • In August 2007, Atlanta Mayor Shirley Franklin wrote a letter to Craigslist asking the company to take steps to avoid unwittingly enabling child prostitution through its classified ads.[31][32]


Hotel California remixed by a malayalee

May 27, 2008

On the road to Trivandrum
Coconut oil in my hair
Warm smell of avial
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a bright pink tube-light
My tummy rumbled, I felt weak and thin
I had to stop for a bite
There he stood in the doorway
Flicked his mundu in style
And I was thinking to myself
I don’t like the look of his sinister smile
Then he lit up a petromax
Muttering “No power today”
More Mallus down the corridor
I thought I heard them say

Welcome to the Hotel Kerala-fonia
Such a lousy place,
Such a lousy place (background)
Such a sad disgrace,
Plenty of bugs at the Hotel Kerala-fonia
Any time of year
Any time of year (background)
It’s infested here
It’s infested here

His finger’s stuck up his nostril
He’s got a big, thick mustache
He makes an ugly, ugly noise
But that’s just his laugh
Buxom girls clad in pavada
Eating banana chips
Some roll their eyes, and
Some roll their hips
I said to the manager
My room’s full of mice
He said,
Don’t worry, saar, I sending you
meen karri, brandy and ice
And still those voices were crying from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them pray

Save us from the Hotel Kerala-fonia
Such a lousy place,
Such a lousy place (background)
Such a sad disgrace
Trying to live at the Hotel Kerala-fonia
It is no surprise
It is no surprise (background)
That it swarms with flies

The blind man was pouring
Stale sambar on rice
And he said
We are all just actors here
In Silk Smitha-disguise
And in the dining chamber
We gathered for the feast
We stab it with our steely knives
But we just can’t cut that beef
Last thing I remember
I was writhing on the floor
That cockroach in my appam-stew was the culprit,
I am sure
Relax, said the watchman
This enema will make you well
And his friends laughed as they held me down
God’s Own Country? Oh, Hell!

Corporate Meeting Bingo

May 27, 2008

More Funny Tech Support

May 23, 2008

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one…

===============

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… sorry….

===============

Tech support: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

===============

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello… I can’t print.
Tech support: Would you click on “start” for me and…
Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates.

===============

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it…

==============

Customer: I have problems printing in red…
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah………………..thank you.

===============

Tech support: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

===============

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah…that one does work…

===============

Tech support: Your password is the small letter “a” as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?

===============

Customer: can’t get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

===============

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry…Internet Explorer.

===============

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

===============

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

===============

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: “No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.”

===============

Tech support: “Okay Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter “P” to bring up the Program Manager.”
Customer: I don’t have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: “P”…..on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT

How programming evolves and how the person rises in the software industry..

May 23, 2008

High School/Jr.High

Code:
  10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
20 END

First year in College

Code:
  program Hello(input, output)
begin
writeln('Hello World')
end.

Senior year in College

Code:
  (defun hello
(print
(cons 'Hello (list 'World))))

New professional

Code:
  #include 
void main(void)
{
char *message[] = {"Hello ", "World"};
int i;

for(i = 0; i < 2; ++i)
printf("%s", message[i]);
printf("\n");
}

Seasoned professional

Code:
  #include 
#include

class string
{
private:
int size;
char *ptr;

string() : size(0), ptr(new char[1]) { ptr[0] = 0; }

string(const string &s) : size(s.size)
{
ptr = new char[size + 1];
strcpy(ptr, s.ptr);
}

~string()
{
delete [] ptr;
}

friend ostream &operator <<(ostream &, const string &);
string &operator=(const char *);
};

ostream &operator<<(ostream &stream, const string &s)
{
return(stream << s.ptr);
}

string &string::operator=(const char *chrs)
{
if (this != &chrs)
{
delete [] ptr;
size = strlen(chrs);
ptr = new char[size + 1];
strcpy(ptr, chrs);
}
return(*this);
}

int main()
{
string str;

str = "Hello World";
cout << str << endl;

return(0);
}

Master Programmer

Code:
  [
uuid(2573F8F4-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)
]
library LHello
{
// bring in the master library
importlib("actimp.tlb");
importlib("actexp.tlb");

// bring in my interfaces
#include "pshlo.idl"

[
uuid(2573F8F5-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)
]
cotype THello
{
interface IHello;
interface IPersistFile;
};
};

[
exe,
uuid(2573F890-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)
]
module CHelloLib
{

// some code related header files
importheader();
importheader();
importheader();
importheader("pshlo.h");
importheader("shlo.hxx");
importheader("mycls.hxx");

// needed typelibs
importlib("actimp.tlb");
importlib("actexp.tlb");
importlib("thlo.tlb");

[
uuid(2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820),
aggregatable
]
coclass CHello
{
cotype THello;
};
};


#include "ipfix.hxx"

extern HANDLE hEvent;

class CHello : public CHelloBase
{
public:
IPFIX(CLSID_CHello);

CHello(IUnknown *pUnk);
~CHello();

HRESULT __stdcall PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString);

private:
static int cObjRef;
};


#include
#include
#include
#include
#include "thlo.h"
#include "pshlo.h"
#include "shlo.hxx"
#include "mycls.hxx"

int CHello::cObjRef = 0;

CHello::CHello(IUnknown *pUnk) : CHelloBase(pUnk)
{
cObjRef++;
return;
}

HRESULT __stdcall CHello::PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString)
{
printf("%ws
", pwszString);
return(ResultFromScode(S_OK));
}


CHello::~CHello(void)
{

// when the object count goes to zero, stop the server
cObjRef--;
if( cObjRef == 0 )
PulseEvent(hEvent);

return;
}

#include
#include
#include "pshlo.h"
#include "shlo.hxx"
#include "mycls.hxx"

HANDLE hEvent;

int _cdecl main(
int argc,
char * argv[]
) {
ULONG ulRef;
DWORD dwRegistration;
CHelloCF *pCF = new CHelloCF();

hEvent = CreateEvent(NULL, FALSE, FALSE, NULL);

// Initialize the OLE libraries
CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED);

CoRegisterClassObject(CLSID_CHello, pCF, CLSCTX_LOCAL_SERVER,
REGCLS_MULTIPLEUSE, &dwRegistration);

// wait on an event to stop
WaitForSingleObject(hEvent, INFINITE);

// revoke and release the class object
CoRevokeClassObject(dwRegistration);
ulRef = pCF->Release();

// Tell OLE we are going away.
CoUninitialize();

return(0); }

extern CLSID CLSID_CHello;
extern UUID LIBID_CHelloLib;

CLSID CLSID_CHello = { /* 2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */
0x2573F891,
0xCFEE,
0x101A,
{ 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 }
};

UUID LIBID_CHelloLib = { /* 2573F890-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */
0x2573F890,
0xCFEE,
0x101A,
{ 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 }
};

#include
#include
#include
#include
#include
#include "pshlo.h"
#include "shlo.hxx"
#include "clsid.h"

int _cdecl main(
int argc,
char * argv[]
) {
HRESULT hRslt;
IHello *pHello;
ULONG ulCnt;
IMoniker * pmk;
WCHAR wcsT[_MAX_PATH];
WCHAR wcsPath[2 * _MAX_PATH];

// get object path
wcsPath[0] = '';
wcsT[0] = '';
if( argc > 1) {
mbstowcs(wcsPath, argv[1], strlen(argv[1]) + 1);
wcsupr(wcsPath);
}
else {
fprintf(stderr, "Object path must be specified\n");
return(1);
}

// get print string
if(argc > 2)
mbstowcs(wcsT, argv[2], strlen(argv[2]) + 1);
else
wcscpy(wcsT, L"Hello World");

printf("Linking to object %ws\n", wcsPath);
printf("Text String %ws\n", wcsT);

// Initialize the OLE libraries
hRslt = CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED);

if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) {


hRslt = CreateFileMoniker(wcsPath, &pmk);
if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt))
hRslt = BindMoniker(pmk, 0, IID_IHello, (void **)&pHello);

if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) {

// print a string out
pHello->PrintSz(wcsT);

Sleep(2000);
ulCnt = pHello->Release();
}
else
printf("Failure to connect, status: %lx", hRslt);

// Tell OLE we are going away.
CoUninitialize();
}

return(0);
}

Apprentice Hacker

Code:
 #!/usr/local/bin/perl
$msg="Hello, world.\n";
if ($#ARGV >= 0) {
while(defined($arg=shift(@ARGV))) {
$outfilename = $arg;
open(FILE, ">" . $outfilename) || die "Can't write $arg: $!\n";
print (FILE $msg);
close(FILE) || die "Can't close $arg: $!\n";
}
} else {
print ($msg);
}
1;

Experienced Hacker

Code:
  #include 
#define S "Hello, World\n"
main(){exit(printf(S) == strlen(S) ? 0 : 1);}

Seasoned Hacker

Code:
  % cc -o a.out ~/src/misc/hw/hw.c
% a.out

Guru Hacker

Code:
 % echo "Hello, world."

New Manager

Code:
  10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
20 END

Middle Manager

Code:
  mail -s "Hello, world." bob@b12
Bob, could you please write me a program that prints "Hello, world."?
I need it by tomorrow.
^D

Senior Manager

Code:
  % zmail jim
I need a "Hello, world." program by this afternoon.

Chief Executive

Code:
 % letter
letter: Command not found.
% mail
To: ^X ^F ^C
% help mail
help: Command not found.
% damn!
!: Event unrecognized
% logout

Step-by-step guide to filing your income tax returns online

May 23, 2008

I had always wanted to file my income tax returns but the plethora of paperwork always discouraged me. Finding an agent who could stand in long queues at the income tax office of course, for a fee to file my returns was also not me.

But then friends also scared me saying not filing tax returns will put me in banks’ bad books as and when I’d apply for a home loan. That was a real shocker for I am planning to buy a house and I need to put this tax record straight.

Not that I don’t pay my taxes. It’s only that I don’t file my tax returns (Remember paying taxes and filing returns is not the same thing). Our company’s accounts department very religiously deducts tax at source which they fondly call TDS and which also finds a mention on my salary slip. It’s only that that I hate paperwork. Online banking, online news, online mutual fund investments is what I love. Internet, it seems, has made (or will make) an entire generation lazy. But then if I can also file my income tax returns online I am not complaining at all.

Welcome to the e-AGE. You can file your income tax returns online.

How do you go about it?

That’s what I asked my friend who told me about e-filing of taxes. “It’s really very simple,” he said giving me a what-on-earth-were-you-doing-for-so-many-days-you-idiot kind of a look.

Visit the incometaxindia website and register as a new user. The ‘new user’ link is in the ‘Login’ section just below the image of the Indian tricolour, he specified, looking angrily into my eyes.

You will have to input five details inside the box provided on the form and click on the ‘Register’ button. The form asks you for your permanent account number (PAN) and other personal details.

“I hope you must be at least having your PAN,” he kind of barked. “If you don’t have one then even that can be sourced online.” He was now furious as he was waiting for my response.

“I do have one,” I said cowering a bit. “Good then,” he sighed.

Once you click on the ‘Register’ button you will be taken to a form that will automatically have your address and other details (as submitted by you for getting a PAN). You will just have to put your own password, telephone number, e-mail and click on the ‘Submit’ button.

And you will be taken to a page that has links for e-filing your tax returns for the assessment year 2006-07 and 2007-08. For those who joined the party late here’s what an assessment year is”

Assessment year is a period of 12 months starting from April 1 and ending on March 31 the following year. Previous year is the financial year immediately before the assessment year.

Income earned in the previous year is taxable in the assessment year.

Let’s take an example to make it simple.

Let’s take April 1, 2006 to March 31, 2007 as the assessment year. The previous year corresponding to this assessment year will be April 1, 2005 to March 31, 2006.

So the income earned in the previous year April 1, 2005 to March 31, 2006 is taxable in the assessment year starting from April 1, 2006 to March 31, 2007.

Similarly, income earned in the previous year April 1, 2006 to March 31, 2007 is taxable in the assessment year starting from April 1, 2007 to March 31, 2008.

That’s not all

Now let’s say you click on e-filing for A.Y. 2007-08. You will be taken to a page from where you can download an excel utility that helps you file online income tax returns.

~ Choose which category you belong to (salaried employees with only salary income will have to download ITR-1).

~ Fill in the required data asked for in the excel sheet.

~ Save the excel file on your local machine.

~ Click on ‘Submit return‘ link in the middle on the left hand side to upload the saved excel file to the income tax of India’s server.

Still not through

Don’t get bored yet. Though you may have spent a solid ten minutes reading this article now (I know it’s very boring but useful too I surmise) it’s not that time consuming when you do it online. After uploading excel file successfully a form will pop up in your computer’s window. This is in acknowledgement that you have filed your returns online successfully. Take a print out of this form and fill in the verification part which duly needs to be posted to your nearest local income tax office.

Take due care that if you upload the file today then the income tax department should receive the verification form duly filled and signed in the next 15 days by post. If not you will have to go through the entire procedure again.

If you are already raising your eyebrows then here’s a solution to it: digital signature. This is something that will make your e-filing income tax returns really paperless.

Digital signature is like your electronic identity that confirms that the person who has submitted all the details is really ‘YOU’. Companies like Safe Scrypt will do it for you, again online and for a fee. As per the IT Act 2000 they are legally as valid as physically signed documents in any Indian court of law.

That’s about it dear readers. Call it laziness or call it convenience. Filing your income tax returns is now really possible at the click of a mouse. I am going to file it as soon as I get my Form 16 and show to my friend that even I did it.

What’s more you can file them anytime, anywhere; away from the prying eyes of sneaky colleagues and from within the confines of your home. Who said government offices work only 9 am to 5 pm. Online income tax returns can be filed even after 5 pm or at any time of the day or night.